Honestly, Miss Couturable is a prime culprit of self-vanity -- a lot of fashion blogs (and blogs in general) are. This blog thrives upon the musings of a 17-years-old, her fashion cravings, and pieces of daily life that she chooses to share (okay, why am I talking in the third person?) -- seriously, vain.
But then again, fashion and writing entail self-vanity in themselves -- I don't know about you, but I don't wear cocktail dresses and four-inch pumps at home; I'll primp and doll up to go to the doctor's office but I'm not going to dress up unless there's someone who will notice. On the writing spectrum, writers write to be read by others -- or if it's in a private journal, writing is utilized for self-reflection. Either way, writing reflects on the self -- and it's vain, to some degree.
Okay, so my top two interests are based on self-vanity -- I've already accepted and acknowledged that some self-vanity isn't a bad thing. There's no harm in loving and embracing yourself. I'm all about the self-love à la Sex and the City.
This summer though, I've (slowly) learned that yes, it is very important to live your live the way you want, to love yourself for who you are -- but it is even more important to live your life knowing that your life doesn't revolve around yourself. Much of our lives are based on our interactions and relationships with others -- and I would even go as far as saying that many of us perceive ourselves based on others. The media definitely takes advantage of this fact, as we scrutinize celebrity bodies and fashion mishaps while scrutinizing our own bodies and commit fashion mistakes of our own.
I need to work on maintaining relationships, whether they're with my family, friends, pets (hello, dead fish), or God. Actually, I don't even maintain relationships with my fellow bloggers very well -- I rarely comment like a good blogging buddy should but I definitely read every single blog on my Google Reader.
Nothing like spending two months by myself to make realize how important relationships are to me -- how they are everything, if you strip away the frivolities of everyday life.
It started with a screeching phone call from my mommy, after I didn't call her for five days during my first week in New York City. Somehow, I had convinced myself that my parents didn't care what I was doing or how I was doing in the city, since I spent my first week shopping in SoHo anyways.
I've always gotten what I want -- my parents rarely say no to my wishes and desires (how else would I be living in New York City by myself?). It seemed for the longest time, that my happiness was based on getting what I wanted. When I didn't get what I wanted -- I, well, was not the best friend, daughter, or sister that I should have been. I am ashamed to admit it, but I would be even more ashamed if I didn't.
But to live in a big city of millions all by myself, subsisting only on phone calls from my family and postcards from my dear friends -- I learned a valuable lesson (or two or three). I learned that it's important to be happy, but it's even more important to share in the happiness of others. I learned that sharing in the happiness of others doesn't mean I will be as equally happy -- but that I already have everything I need to be happy, so it doesn't really matter. I learned that having everything I need materialistically doesn't make me any happier, but it does make me more fortunate -- so that I can give more to my family and friends.
It's not about me anymore.
P.S. I'm typing this as my mommy's yelling at me for being a failure at life who "doesn't make the cut" and has no future. Second lesson learned: Don't take anything too personally; this will all come to pass. Just keep swimming, as Dory from Finding Nemo might say.
Third lesson? We all have a future -- we just can't find it until we believe in it ourselves. I promise that I believe in you, my lovelies.